Linwood Barclay has written this satirical column about Stephane Dion's decision not to run a Liberal candidate as to give Green Party Elizabeth May a better chance to defeat Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay (ha!). It looks like Dion's actions have inspired others....
- Discount retailer Costco has decided to close its operation in Ontario, so as to let Hank's Dry Goods of Omemee crush the province's Wal-Marts.
- Toyota is pulling out of the province of Manitoba to give Kia a chance at toppling Honda.
- Global TV says it is going to block out its own programming in several markets, including Vancouver, Toronto, and Halifax, to give CPAC, the parliamentary channel, the nudge it needs to topple CTV.
- Tim Hortons, conceding that it has a respectable share of the double-double market, is closing its outlets in Mississauga to allow Biff's Catering Wagon ("Where the Elite Meet to Eat") to put a dent in Starbucks' business. Instead of hitting just construction sites all day, Biff plans to do slow trolls through such places as Port Credit, drawing customers out of trendy coffee shops. He's also pledging to fix the hinges on the truck's "awning" so there are no more unfortunate broken-neck mishaps.
- Finally, the National Post is pulling its freebie copies out of car repair shops so that Muffler Monthly can stick it to the Post's arch enemy, the Globe and Mail.
Way to go Stephane. We couldn't have done better!
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2 comments:
You know you are a dead duck when the national satire crowd takes it to the ninth degree.
Is Rick Mercer next?
Personally, I think this race will be interesting. I suspect the plan will backfire, and many of the 'progressives' will run to the NDP. Now, I still think MacKay will win the riding, but the race will be interesting.
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